DEAR BESTFRIEND

thinking about the years we've spent.
all the memories and events that has occurred and shared.
i never would have imagined that we'd grown apart.

i was always the one there for you when you needed help.
i was always the one there for you when you got hurt.
i was always the one there for you when no one else was.

now every memory, every evidence and every fact that i knew about you left me questioning if they were true.
from all the people i have been with, i never expected you to be the one who would do this to me.

questions, lots ans lots of questions keep haunting my mind. sorting through all the things you've told me.
"I CANNOT DISTINGUISH THE TRUTH FROM LIES"
is it true that you have this...
is it real that you're...
do you even have that...
do you even know him...
IS HE A REAL PERSON?
these questions kept on resurfacing every time i think of you.

i have been deprived from the truth.
many are telling me that there's something not right about you.
that you've become this person that tries to out shine others.
ITS NOT YOU.
ITS NOT THE GIRL I'VE MET BEFORE.
WHO ARE YOU?

i tried to defend you.
i tried to convince them that it's not who you are, that maybe they've mistaken you for someone else.
but with each lie, it gets bigger. as lies began to be covered up with new lies.

i tried to reason out.
maybe you sad?
maybe you feel alone?
maybe you need assurance?
but with time, i see you becoming a different person.
a person unrecognizable behind every anomaly you've created.

i find myself distancing ME from you.
offering opportunities so you can tell me the truth.
but what i found left me bothered.
"YOU TRIED TO FEED ME WITH MORE OF YOUR LIES."

i cannot stand and see my "BESTFRIEND" get eaten by the darkness.
i've somehow learned to detach my self from you.
now we barely talk, hardly saw each other.

i do not regret the things i did.
i cannot watch you destroy what little dignity you've got.
I CANNOT BE CAUGHT IN ASSOCIATION WITH YOU.

all i wish is that you'd get your new start.
that you manage to change and grow into someone different.

yes, this is me telling you that we are no longer friends.
this is me saying that you've actually wasted a decade's worth of friendship. because somehow you've manage to let your selfishness over power your self reasoning. and for that i am truly sorry.