Hear Me Out

i didn't mean anything to what i did
it's just a game a i played
it's never meant for anyone

feelings hurt, respect is broken
i'm the one whose wrong again

now i'm trying to get trough my life
with eyes watching every step
i was never right, you only see the wrong in me.
I'M ALWAYS THE BAD ONE.

what i hate about my day
is when they start to compare
don't you know what i feel??
i was stripped down and i shuttered to the ground

can you hear me?
i'm shouting what i have to say
but no matter how loud i scream
no one seems to listen.

in your eyes i'll always be a liability
you're blinded by lies that you can't see what is real.

i'm always WRONG and you're always RIGHT

why? why? why?
could you be so unfair?
why don't you try to open you ears and listen to me
you're over ruled by stories you hear, but do you know what is real??

hear me out..
maybe i have something to prove
that maybe my side is something to consider.

i am who i am..
and i'll never change.
for what i am makes me the person you see.
NO MORE, NO LESS

UNFORESEEABLE

i have not foreseen this coming...
that one day i'll be saying this to you.
I'M OVER YOU.

i'm finally free from depressions and pain, i'm free from jealousy
and most of all..i'm free from my love for you...

it's been days since i've spoken your name, since i've longed to see your face, since i've wish that you might someday be the one.
i'm free from this rechedness that you kept me under.
i'm finally breathing in my own air for the first time.

ohh..how light it is to feel normal and out of problems...
too bad..
you and i make quite a few good things..

but..away from being free..
i truly would like to thank you for everything..

you opened my eyes and heart to things that i never knew exist.
thank you for teaching me how to love..
you've been my inspiration..and you'll always be..
THANK YOU SO MUCH!

DEAR BESTFRIEND

thinking about the years we've spent.
all the memories and events that has occurred and shared.
i never would have imagined that we'd grown apart.

i was always the one there for you when you needed help.
i was always the one there for you when you got hurt.
i was always the one there for you when no one else was.

now every memory, every evidence and every fact that i knew about you left me questioning if they were true.
from all the people i have been with, i never expected you to be the one who would do this to me.

questions, lots ans lots of questions keep haunting my mind. sorting through all the things you've told me.
"I CANNOT DISTINGUISH THE TRUTH FROM LIES"
is it true that you have this...
is it real that you're...
do you even have that...
do you even know him...
IS HE A REAL PERSON?
these questions kept on resurfacing every time i think of you.

i have been deprived from the truth.
many are telling me that there's something not right about you.
that you've become this person that tries to out shine others.
ITS NOT YOU.
ITS NOT THE GIRL I'VE MET BEFORE.
WHO ARE YOU?

i tried to defend you.
i tried to convince them that it's not who you are, that maybe they've mistaken you for someone else.
but with each lie, it gets bigger. as lies began to be covered up with new lies.

i tried to reason out.
maybe you sad?
maybe you feel alone?
maybe you need assurance?
but with time, i see you becoming a different person.
a person unrecognizable behind every anomaly you've created.

i find myself distancing ME from you.
offering opportunities so you can tell me the truth.
but what i found left me bothered.
"YOU TRIED TO FEED ME WITH MORE OF YOUR LIES."

i cannot stand and see my "BESTFRIEND" get eaten by the darkness.
i've somehow learned to detach my self from you.
now we barely talk, hardly saw each other.

i do not regret the things i did.
i cannot watch you destroy what little dignity you've got.
I CANNOT BE CAUGHT IN ASSOCIATION WITH YOU.

all i wish is that you'd get your new start.
that you manage to change and grow into someone different.

yes, this is me telling you that we are no longer friends.
this is me saying that you've actually wasted a decade's worth of friendship. because somehow you've manage to let your selfishness over power your self reasoning. and for that i am truly sorry.

PURPOSE, REASON, CAUSE

when darkness arise and light falls. You don't want to think anymore, cause your basic instinct would be telling you to run, hide and scream. But just this once, can i let my self be one with darkness? If i ran where would that get me? If i scream, will anyone hear me? If i hide, if i hide, is there a possibility that it wont find me? If i just stop trying and let go, would i still be breathing?

i made it capture me. A prisoner of darkness, sulking in whatever air i can. I cannot see, hear or feel, all the numbness came, filling me in. But in everything that there is, a flicker of light shines. giving me hope and making me feel alive again. i searched and looked for something to hold, trying to find a way to reach in and grab that light. i stumbled and fell but i didn't give up until i reached that light.

i could feel the light touching my skin. i remain unmoved by the sudden clashing of my body to the light. afraid? yes, but i can feel myself. i sensed my surrounding. am i home? or is this some kind of illusion? i opened my eyes and tried to see. nothing? an empty space, i closed my eyes wondering. why? why is there nothing. now that i see, i feel, i hear that i don't get to see anything? i stayed curled up and started to cry, wishing and hoping that something might change. i don't know how long it was, 30 seconds, one hour or days? i stayed at the corner, unmoving. praying for someone to answer. i lay, still. i couldn't open my eyes. i breathe in harder, tasting my atmosphere.

a sudden gush of wind startled me. i was afraid to open my eyes, not knowing what to see, i held them tighter. i felt the ground beneath me move. i felt isolated by this sudden change. i noticed my body gained strength. i stood up and for the first time i saw what the light meant.

PURPOSE, REASON AND CAUSE. i caught my breath and found myself in reality. trying to make sense of what had happened. in reality everything is black but when we find the true meaning of out lives, patches of colors appear, giving us HOPE and LOVE to live for.

fantasy

i thought you were the one for me
i didn't knew it would be this way

now were in each others face
breaking each other's heart

i thought that love would be our chain
but now this love has cost me pain

i was loving you for who you are
you were loving me for what i have
i thought what we had was real
but it was only a fantasy

we tried to give it another chance
but it didn't work out right

you said it was an honest mistake
but i thought it was the end

our love was never really strong
i closed my eyes and heard you go

i was loving you for who you are
you were loving me for what i have
i thought what we had was real
but it was only a fantasy

love was never really there
waste my time for someone like you

i was loving you for who you are
you were loving me for what i have
i thought what we had was real
but it was only a fantasy

but it was only a fantasy

letters

september 10, 2009

dear you,

happy birthday!!

i wish you all the best and good luck in your studies. thank you for all the times that you paid attention to my craziest actions. i hope that you liked my gift, even though i know that its not something that you could use everyday, but i'm wishing that you'd still keep it. thats all, again HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you

<3me

____________________________________________________________________

march 3, 2009

dear you,

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

you've finally graduated, i just wanted to wish you good luck in college and the course you've chosen. i know that you'll do great. thank you for all the time, effort and patience that you've showed me even though i know that you're just being a gentleman.

i hope that you could find a girl that would love you true (just like the way i loved you). anyway what i'm really trying to say here is, i'm really going to miss you. even if you're thinking that i am crazy or something. i'll miss your silent laughs, your wonderful smile, you always holding your handkerchief while riding the service, your voice that i get to hear every now and then, and lastly the way you look at me. i'll also miss the way you help other people, the way you respect people, that your a perfect gentleman. those things i would surely miss.

though i tried to be subtle about my feelings for you, i still can't keep the people that knows the way i feel about you. i wanted to say sorry for that. sorry if ever they've offended you or disrespected you because behind them all i was the one telling them to ask you things that i couldn't ask myself.

to finally end this i'd just like to say that always remember that i'm here whenever you need help and always take care of your self. don't stress you self to much on school work, find time to relax. spend some time with your family and friends.

CONGRATULATIONS again!!!!!

<3me

____________________________________________________________________

january 7, 2011

dear you,

BELATED HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

<3me

____________________________________________________________________

february 20,2011

dear you,

hi! how are you. it's been a long time since we last talked and i was kinda hoping that you've got some news to tell me. i heard that you've found yourself a new girl, what a surprise, it took you long enough... hahaha...i miss you so much. i've got tons of stories to tell. so i should probably get started.

i think i've finally found someone. can you believe it? well i've known him for years, even before i met you. well now i'm kinda falling for him and like he's my bestfriend in the world but i can't help not to see him as someone more than just a friend. i need help..advice please..

<3me

PROM

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2084641&id=1194584256

BEST FRIEND

i never intended to love you

i never thought that i would fall for someone like you

i never wanted the words YOU and I for us

all i wanted was for us to be BEST FRIENDS

everything you do draws me closer to you

every favor you ask i comply

your very happiness is my concern

i never wanted to see you cry...frown

little things you do makes my heart flutter

now my world revolves around you

i'd do anything for your sake

i'll waste time and effort for you

i'll protect you against all odds

i left him for you

threw a good relationship just so i could be closer to you

forgot everything about him and never looked back

i can't help but fall

but through it all

you don't care

because all you see in me is a plain girl

never a perfect match for you

never the one for you

because at the end of the day i'm still your BEST FRIEND

I LOVE YOU AND I'LL WAIT NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES

because loving you is the only reason i stay close

because loving you means waking up in the morning expecting to see you

because loving you would mean more time with you

BECAUSE LOVING YOU MAKES ME HUMANLY STRONG TO LIVE.

in love ako kay..

in love ako sa bestfriend ko. hindi ko alam kung bakit, basta mahal ko siya. minamahal ko siya kasi ang bait niya at minahal ko siya dahil sa kung sino siya. mula umaga hanggang gabi, magkasama kami. nagtatawanan, nagbibiruan, nagkwekwentuhan at nagsasaya.

mahal ko ang bestfriend ko. siya lang ang umiintindi sa akin. siya lang ang taong nag-aaruga sa akin. alam kong hindi niya namamalayan ang mga ito, pero dahil dito mas ramdam ko na mahal niya rin ako.

minamahal ko ang bestfriend ko. pero kapatid lang ang turing niya sa akin. kahit gaano ko siya kamahal, hanggang kaibigan lang ako.

dumaan na ang mga araw, lumipas na ang panahon, nagkahiwalay na kami, nagkaroon ng kanya-kanyang buhay.

i love my bestfriend. namimiss ko na siya. hindi na ako makapaghintay na makita siya muli. sana hindi pa huli ang lahat, sana masabi ko pa ang nararamdaman ko.

iniirog ko ang bestfriend ko. mula noon hanggang ngayon tumitibok ang puso ko para sa kanya. makita ko lang siya muli ay masasabi ko na rin ang aking lihim.

naglapat muli ang aming mga mata. bakas ang pangungulila namin sa isa't isa. niyakap niya ako. mahabang panahon din ang nawala saamin.

sinisinta ko ang bestfriend ko. kaya lang hanggang lihim nalang ito. wala na patutunguan ang pag-ibig ko, dahil may mahal na siyang iba.

at sa huli, ako padin ang bestfriend niya...

i love you bestfriend yesterday, today and forever......

its called PROCESS

it never occurred to me that someday i'll be sitting here thinking about life after you. while i was so preoccupied by your presence, i never really thought of having to say goodbye. all i really knew was that spending time with you would always feel like forever.

days pass by like wind and i find myself feeling deprive, in a way that i would soon face reality and let it swallow me...that i would be exposed from darkness again. with you leaving...moving on. i was caught in the past, past by which i can no longer relive. only memories were left, the trail we used to take had suddenly went and split. now we are living separate lives. taking different paths and discovering new challenges.

in those ways i saw that parting has something to prove. we became independent and strive for what we want. we became achievers and we never let our pass catch up on us. we took what we learned from each other and made them our foundation.

but trough it all, we find ourselves reminiscing of our pass, times when we dreamed of what we want, times when we learn to stand and look-out for each other. but then we come back to ourselves wishing that we could be together again. hoping that somewhere deep in our hearts, we still have a place to come back. that LOVE is somewhat present after all those times.

we long to get second chances, but getting it, we have to prove ourselves right to be able to relive our pasts.

but after all those times, i never really gave up on US, i just set US aside and let ME grow. i am ready to relive our past, but are you ready to give up everything for the sake of having ME?